Last week, a press release dropped in my inbox announcing the arrival of a Online girl booking Middlesbrough concept speed-dating night called " Shhh. My immediate reaction was exhaustion. Londoners, not satisfied spending their entire weekends photographing street art in parking lots or eating cronuts in onesies, seem to have roped their love lives into the endless quest for novelty.
Chit-chat aside, I had some reservations about the "full-on" nature of the Shhh experience. Even in my most intense relationships, the idea of someone fixing me with some dreamy, thin-lipped pout-gaze does something to my acid reflux.
But then I am also very conscious of dying.
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So off I went. The press release boasted that this was for "people who want to find deep connections, without the mask of predictable conversations.
I love predictable conversations! Small talk is my foreplay. I want to know what supermarkets you have in your hometown.
I want to mull over the day's precipitation. I bought myself a beer. Enter Adam Taffler, the heavily lip-bearded ringmaster of this circus of solitude.
He summoned the men into the room with his whispery voice; it sounded like paper. The dating games were about to commence.
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He got us all to stand on one side of the room before telling everyone who has had a one-night stand to walk to the other Eaxtbourne of it.
Off we trotted, leaving three little mice all by themselves on the other. The rest of us looked on, relieved. In this shaming exercise, I found myself lying a lot. Basingstoke massage in beach? Sex outside? Who hasn't!
And off I scuttled, betraying my uptight comrades like a sexually advanced Judas. Light ritual humiliation out of the way, we got down to the good stuff. To the soothing tones of Zero 7 we shuffled around the room in a sort of rehabilitation exercise for dead-eyed commuters. Love at first sight? Normally, when you go on a date and no one says anything all night, it's datinb bad thing.
And really awkward. But silent dating is actually a thing that people do voluntarily. Shhh Dating is founded on the belief that "we are instinctively better at communicating and choosing the right partners when we have the chance to put aside words and see each other as we really are," their website explains. For two hours, participants meet members of the opposite sex without saying a word.
Instead, they rely on hand xpeed and, um, sounds. Lucy Baker, the organizer, makes everyone start the evening by jumping in the air and shouting "Oogly-boogly-oo! Apparently this relieves tensions and makes everyone feel less awkward about using sounds to make conversation.
Each mini-date involves two one-minute components.
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Massage Cambridge township In the first half, couples gesticulate away to try and get to know each. Then, for the remaining 60 seconds, couples just stare into each others' eyes. Because eyes are windows into the soul Silet whatnot. Seems like the whole connecting-more-deeply-in-silence thing actually goes the other way.
I'm all for getting creative, but talking is such a huge part of choosing a partner. Silent speed dating does prove an important point: Straining to decipher gestures and sounds will make anyone a sppeed listener. Paying attention to your date, whether you talk or not, is what this is all. But still, what if your speed dating match turns out to have a weird squeaky voice?
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For sure the unusual setting can propose a step out of your comfort zone, which may sound something challenging to do after work.
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